Third Disappointment......

And I’ve got severe cold … I ringed my friend Dr. Ajith for help…. He told me that nothing is there to worry in that…. Surgery would be there unless and until it get affect my throat… I called Dr. Jeomy, he said it will get postpone if I’ve severe cold but I didn’t even dare to think like that way…… My mind was rejecting that fully….. But that proved right….. Today when I check in here the anesthetist Dr. Shaji Azad talked very nicely with me, inquired about the chest xray and ECG results which i've taken the previous visit and said no need of showing that to him but i insist he should see that, if he doesn't wanna see that why should i spent money on that... He burst out laughing and checked all.... But he denied to give fitness since i've running nose.….  He said since this surgery is not an emergency case one we have time to clear this… wait for a couple days to finish cold… My Surgeon has fixed another day for my surgery 5 days later, i.e. 25th April 2012….. And prescribed some tablets tooo, AUGMENTIN, LEAVOCET and advised to take steam 3 times a day which I ever hates…….

The pre-surgery appointment

My surgeon described me once again the steps of surgery and fixed 11th for the anesthetic fitness….

Since my mom is having some unavoidable meetings my mom’s sister accompanied me for the anesthetic fitness at hospital Ananthapuri…..…. It went pretty well apart from that lab technician spilled my blood on me while taking that from my body….:) Anesthetist Dr Divya is sooo beautiful… I loved her smile….. she is having a beautiful smile though her upper jaw is having a small projection!!!!Talked very friendly with me and said I’m perfectly fit for the surgery……!!!!!!

I’ve bought myself a some front open t-shirts and a pair of pyjamas for hospital, and my sister got me some slippers, so that’s me sorted then…. Well my mom is here to look after me, I’m going to ask her to take a photo of me every day so i can post it up here…. I’ve started thinking about my surgery stages seriously so I brought a book about anesthesia (which part is still not clear for me) and read that…….

Had a visit to Vettukad church today along with my family to pray for my fast recovery and light up 101 candles….. I uttered psalms 34 words 5-8 and prayed

“I sought the LORD and He answered me;

He delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

The poor man called. And the LORD heard him;

He saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him. 

And He delivers them”

Again Models!!!!!!

I’ve lost trust in my doctors and I stopped believing them hence I thought this just another drama to make me calm temporarily…. But they were serious…. Dr Jeomy called me and directed me to Dr. Murukan once again to get models……

Once again Crown’s dental clinic!!!!! It was a nice experience, whole two days at crown’s dental clinic with Dr. Murukan and Rajitha (his assistant)… I thought I’ll be boring there after the first round of measurements  so took a book along with me to pass time…. But that book was “Death And After” by the Great V.R Krishaiyyar…. Honestly speaking, that book is little bit boring cuz its not fiction and I felt sleepy and my eyes started feeling hard to control so I stopped reading and asked Rajitha for some other books but she said she is only having religious stuffs so I started chatting with her…. After a while we became a sort of friends…..   second day was very much hectic for me….. One steel ring pushed into my ears and Dr. Murukan pulled that steel rod which attached to that ring (facebow)…  I felt like earth is shaking and i’m moving with that upward… tried to measure the angle which I created with earth…. It was exactly 90 and I’m going upwards……. My head gonna hit the roof!!! If so, I’ll fall down immediately just after touching the roof, then my velocity gonna reduce to -9.8m/s with time, with each second… It wont take more than 5 seconds to reach the ground then 36 kg object falling vertically downwards, expecting to reach ground within 5 seconds then will I able to bear the cause made by that falling effect??? I wondered……  But Dr. Murukan’s voice wake me up… Nothing happened!!! I’m still on chair and that facebow has been removed from my ears!!!!  Then he ordered Rajita to boil one bowl of water at 100cc, i startled to hear that, plzzz don't do anything, i'm the most obedient girl in this whole world. i pleaded... !!!!  they burst out laughing, but i really mean it lolzzzz..:):) …  Again chatting with Rajita….. Now I happily found we became friends!!!!! Dr. Murukan had some doubts about some measurements which they’ve taken and he asked me to visit Dr. Oommen at his home to clarify that doubt.. Evening time, alone travelling from one place to another huh I thought I’m all alone in this world but God helped to overcome that too…. I reached Dr. Oommen’s clinic as fast as possible I can and they clarified that doubt too… then I ringed my cousin and he reached kumarapuram (Dr. Oommen’s Clinic) to pick me up from there…… hmmm I’m not actually alone in this world!!!!

Then the very next day again a problem has shown up!!! My bite is not getting properly on models!!!!! Dr. Murukan and Ragita tried many times again and again and finally that issue also got fixed……

Had another visit to my orthodontist, Dr. Rodney to assemble my teeth for the operation… he placed some screws inside…. I found two teeth on both jaws brace-less inside later….. that might be extracted I thought….. I decided to check that after operation……

I’ve now got a date too. A date for my BIG surgery, 20th april 2012…. :) My surgeon has given me a brief introduction about the stages which I gonna pass through…. Swelling would be there all over face… Nerve sensation will go off on both jaws and lips……My doctor said though that the nerve sensation could take quite a few months to come back, which isn’t good news tooo because it feels really freaky. But I was knowing it long before so nothing as NEW in that……Throat pain and nose pain would be there for some days since they are putting tubes through….. I’ll be giving liquid kinda food at first then I could go back to normal food gradaully….:)

Final Decision…..

We have reached here 10 minutes early for the prearranged meeting…… Dr Oommen had to explain once again the current situation and all then my mom seems to have forgotten the promise which she has given to me and started agreeing with Dr. Oommen…. She told me that if it is this much risky we will stop this here but being humiliated by others I was sooo much depressed and i said I want it anyhow I’m ready to face anything any problem and ready to bear that consequences alone…. I’ll be the only responsible for that…. Dr. Oommen got angry I guess, he said you are so frivolous and kiddish  so leave it up to elders then suddenly he went silent for a couple of minutes and said, I’ve another idea, we’ll change our treatment plan once again….. He asked me to show my teeth and concluded that, we’ll do it sherin…… without having sooo much complication…….i’ve not felt any kinda happiness… I was still in confusion!!!!!  Is these all are practical or what??? My heart can’t brake once again cuz it’s also doesn't have protection enough to join again…….!!!!!!

At Dr.Oommen’s Clinic……

I've received a call from Dr. Jeomy last day informing me that Dr. Oommen wanna explain me about the current situation and the significance of current treatment plan….. so I’ve another appointment today at Dr. Oommen’s clinic!!! This could be my last meeting with him cuz I don’t wanna move on with this current decision under any circumstances….. 

Dr. Oommen turned up generous, explained me what they have planned for, what is the current problem they are facing now and what they are now really planning to do… he told me that my bones doesn’t have enough protection  so that they cannot guarantee about its healing…. In simple words it’s rejoining…. In case it failed to joint then the broken part will get damage permanently so it would the most problematic situation … i showed my disappointment to him…. I've been waiting for long 3 years for this treatment….. And I faced many problems related with this too, like toothache, headache and consumed lot of pain killers and antibiotics just for this treatment….. Now, leaving it here is like a suicidal attempt for me (Not like Selvaraj’s suicide)…. I was adamant although my heart felt weak, my mind was strong (According to Dr. Jose, PadmaSree winner cardiac surgeon, Guys thinking with heart and he doesn't about girls... i think girls are thinking with mind hehe)...He said it’s only your decision to move on with this risky decision and I won’t do that unless and until I get confirmation from your parents cuz you and your decisions seems childish and frivolous…. I lost my last hope because I’m sure damn sure that my parent doesn’t gonna approve this….. He asked me to think about this well and reach there next Monday with my mom for taking a final decision. I left  from there thinking what to do next to convince my parents……….

Seventh Discussion and the Second & Greatest Disappointment....

I was informed by my surgeons that they've arranged another discussion with Dr Sreejith on this Friday and now it will be at his clinic…… with a lot of expectation and hop I started my journey but there the most unfortunate thing happened…. The whole scenario was funny at the same time pathetic.....He treated us; I mean me, my mom and my doctors very badly… He stared at everybody including my doctors for approaching him for suggestions with this kinda hopeless cases. Dr. Rodney turned like Nimosa Pudica(Touch Me Not) and happily adjusted himself into a corner of that room... Dr. Oommen bravely move forward to ask his opinion,,, Dr. Sreejith shouted at him and teased him..... Dr. Oommen shrank like a worm as if he was frightened of him and then the pin drop silence...... My eyes searched for Dr. Jeomy to get his expressions, he was trying hard to explain the current problems and the available solutions on Dr. Oommen's ear.... Hearing that Dr. Oommen again come forward like Popoe just finished spinach but Dr. Sreejith alone was enough to screw them all... Again he became like a frozen ice cube and stood near Dr. Jeomy for courage.... I tried hard to control myself from laughing..... My sweet doctors suffering his insult for me, for my case..... I felt sorry.....

Dr. Sreejith is a government doctor and hence he thinks himself as something greater than any other…… He is having a huge hatred towards other doctors apart from those who are working in government sector. He is not having respect with his own colleagues then how’ll he treat me??? A poor visually handicapped patient!!!!! What kind of a doctor he is ??? I  thought, living in this much luxury with a well and ac furnished clinic and happily doing private practice. In Kerala private practice of government doctors is strictly banned and being a govt sector doctor his private practice is illegal... Doing an illegal thing at same time throwing tantrums!!!! Great i smirked...... Hmmm God have given all happiness and luxuries to him and God could simply take all these happiness away from him within 1 second... God wont do anything directly, He simply does those this through us, i mean me kinda normal people..

He teased my doctors for considering my case and approaching him with such an unpromising patient…… He delivered an ugly look to Dr. Rodney (at that time i didn't get the meaning of that look, later i found its just cuz both are orthodontists) and concluded everything with a message that “Don’t touch the upper jaw, and if u want, correct the lower one”… My surgeons have taken that as final and decided to move on with that decision…… Just for correcting my lower jaw why I have waited this far???? Almost 3 years???? Questions started raining through my mind like monsoon…..  But at that time, at his clinic I felt worthless even to question anything…..  Till I reach home, I was trying to co-op with the current scenario…. After being ignored by my doctors this much I’ve no power left in me to fight against this choice…..On the same time, I knew my case is complicated and risky so I tried my best to accept it…… But the more I tried console my mind the more it started protesting…… My friends and family showed their support and with that spirit I ringed Dr Jeomy today and showed my disappointment towards the current treatment plan and I’m not gonna do this anyways if they are moving on with this option…..

Valentine’s Day!!!!!!!

Today is the Valentine’s Day….. The day of love!!!!!! The day of Lovers and loving people’s….. I've taken a holiday to all tensions and have decided to freak out with my friends… Off to Veli lake, Vettukad church and Sanghu Mugham Beach and which was fun!!!  In the return trip, I just analyzed about my coming daysss…. How’ll be that???? Then have taken another decision to ring Dr. Jeomy, who have already stopped accepting my calls after a couple of times giving the same answer” NOTHING HAS BEEN FIXED YET”…….. I ringed him but after ringing twice the phone started giving a message… “The number you've called is busy at the moment Please try again later”…. MMMM he might be busy but mind failed to accept it…. It asked me to ring Dr. Oommen the main surgeon to get the whereabouts of the current scenario…… He picked up my call and said he is busy now so make him remember this on next Thursday as he is going out for a conference for two days……