Happy 6th EYEniversary....!!!! (Wood anniversary)

I've lived with strabismus over 15 years. Also called crossed eyes, lazy eye, turned eye, squint, double vision, wall eyes, floating, wandering, wayward, or drifting eyes. Strabismus has never been a handicap but rather a challenge for me. I’ve always found alternative ways to do the difficult things, and I’ve enjoyed many silver and golden linings. Strabismus not only affects vision. Many suffer social embarrassment, lost job opportunities, and a host of other problems. Yet, living with eyes apart forces us to adapt, meet the challenge, and become stronger. I just feel that the strabismus is such a turn-off to people that I would never have any luck, getting job, etc, as sad as that may sound. However, I don’t really even blame people for looking at me strangely – I even think it looks bad! I only remember meeting one other person in my life with strabismus like mine, and honestly it’s hard NOT to look at their eye when you meet them – it just stands out so clearly.

I had eye muscle surgery in 23rd October 2006… Exactly 6 years back at Chaithanya Eye Hospital & Research Centre. My surgeon is highly recommended Dr. Abraham Kurian. A great personality with a nice friendly approach and describing everything even the smallest thing about surgery again and again. He made me aware of my eye’s current situation and had given a clear view about my surgery what can we clear through this and what not. Surgery went nice, my first surgery experience through local anesthesia… The whole time during surgery I was talking with my surgeon so I never felt like I’m going through a surgery, He didn't make me feel so. And today I’m celebrating the 6th anniversary of my surgery, lateral rectus recession. My eyes had been drifting a lot more prior to the surgery, and had become increasingly unstable and uncomfortable. It was difficult to hold a focus to read. My eyes are much more comfortable since the surgery, less tension, and I get a lot less headaches now. My eyes don’t drift as spastically as before surgery.    

Exactly two weeks after the surgery, I went to class and the redness was almost gone and I could look my classmates straight into their eyes for the first time in my life and they did not look away or past me. What a feeling!. 

My surgeon had told me at my one month checkup that I would likely need medial rectus resection in the fall. But when I went back after a month, he didn’t seem to think that would help and made prism glasses instead. The prism glasses didn’t help either. Things were much distorted with them, and I saw two images of everything.  I’ve since gotten old biconcave glasses from my local optometrist, and I could see out of them much better. I had to hold things very close to my face to read with them, and can’t read for a long time like I’d hoped. I remembered my doctor’s words…. ‘Give intervals when you are reading….. Don’t give much tension to your eye muscles’….. It was really hard for me since that is not my habit but am tried to adjust to them….

A Few words to my readers not to my readers but those who is having Strabismus is don’t get worry about your decease just do corrective surgery as fast as you can… Time can influence your vision cell’s growth, the fast you do the greater will be the result. You just need to find out a specialist who is capable of understanding your worries and anxities .Surgery won’t be panic or painful. You will need to take one or two different drops three times a day for about a month after the surgery. One suggestion. Turn off the lights above you when you put your drops in. Yes, the white parts of the eyes are scary red for the first few days, and then quickly improve. Indoors, you can probably wear regular sun glasses. There no eye patching in case you wondered.

The only way to approach Strabismus surgery is to take it for better or for worse. If it is better, as it seems to be for many, that will be wonderful. But if it is worse, be prepared to accept the challenge and continue onward. Life is a lot more than what I see. It is who I am and who God is teaching me to be. Life is exciting, it is bigger than strabismus, and great to be part of it, so let’s roll!

Right Now going to blow off candles then cutting a cake to celebrate my 6th EYEniversary….!!!!

Happily Depressed!!

I saw Dr. Oommen last Tuesday and he wants me to take new OPG to check whether the problem related to jaw healing. . I was bit worried, I just remembered my friend’s words, Relapse can cause with this kinda surgeries but i'm pretty over aged for that and that was the only consolation  I went KK dental 'xray & framing center' on Wednesday after class to take OPG and i 'm scheduled to see him again next Thursday morning.

I saw my surgeon today and the first thing I did was sit for an x-ray. He said everything looked great and the pain is nothing related with my jaw healing (thank God!). He added that may be this problem related to my teeth and braces so he wanna discuss this issue with my Orthodontist for that he is keeping my OPG’s, old and new(before and after surgeries) and asked me to collect that from his assistant afterwards.

Now I’m waiting for the call from my doctors….. Don’t know how much days I should wait…. From my past experience I know definitly that would take atleast one month… so I’m giving limits and continueity for that time interval, limit,  x=today i.e 4th oct 2012 to infinity hehe …  I’m wondering how’ll I treat my new guest(pain)  till then?? My Surgeon has told me no need of taking pain killers….. how’ll have food without fear?????

Missed Appointment

Also i have noticed something a little odd. Now I am feeling a strange pain on the bottom left side of my chin…. If i drink or eat something the shaking effect on the joined area (left chin bone to lips) seems to have increased a bit and two teeth started hurting over the lips…. It feels very strange but the same time bearable too so I didn’t give much attention to it at first but  every morning I’ve started finding clot blood particles being jammed on my teeth and braces and which doesn’t made me sad because I’ve already had this many times before my surgery. And I really know it would be there with me for sure until the braces come off, which might only be after a 6 months now… Later I found matters getting worse day by day… Chin bone pain is small at the same time it was having enough strength to wake me up from sleep and stops me my works in between. I‘ve started feeling that like a warning signal and i still don’t really know how things have turned out which is frustrating. Ringed Dr. Jeomy and he wants me to discuss this with my orthodontist Dr. Rodney but on that particular day I was having some serious paper work at class so I missed the appointment. I missed the appointment which doesn’t mean that I’m giving more/less priority to my studies/treatment but I loved that day’s work and I gave soo much time, attention and hardwork for that so wish to present that on that day itself. This is the first time in my whole treatment period I’m missing one appointment and I paid for that too  Pain started gradually increasing day by day and lower jaw turned stiff and shaking hard when I try to eat something and the joined area including lips hurts like I’m trying to some do some over work with it.  Tried to contact Dr. Jeomy again… I knew that he’ll get angry but I have no option left in my side other than that. Dr. Jeomy went angry as I expected. He suggested me to consult Dr. Oommen. 

My sweet new born chin hurts today

Well its over a month now since i had the top done and today I got the bottom fit….. My orthodontist pulled my lower lip out to get full access with bottom teeth but that almost killed me felt like to push that doctor as hard as possible and rush out of that clinic like Ganga did in Manichitrathazhu movie….. But I don't like to scream, and don't wanna disturb my doctor's work so kept my mouth open silently eating the paining signals…… 

On my way back to home I felt an awful sensation on my chin bones (left one) and slowly that spreading onto left lip and chin area (ohhh my sweet new born chin, I love u!!!!) I’ll take pain killer after reaching home, I thought but for my great relief that slowly winded up…. Teeth pain was there and that digging effect ….  Hmmm I need to attend Dr. Murukan’s wedding treat day after…. Will I able to be there happily???

Going to have a quiet day today reading and watching movies on my laps.. Chin and lower set of teeth complaining occasionally about the new fixtures put on. Oh well at least i know from experience now its a week of sheer hell and then it’ll settle down a bit. Fingers crossed till then ‘eh!

Back to Brace's World..:D

Well I got the top fit today…  I thought it might hurt like hell but I was ok with that pain I guess…  Not so severe one, I could simply bear that pain which that brace offers….  My orthodontist hopes that we’ll do the bottom after a week….  Now I’m back on to those old days, swelling, bleeding, antibiotics but,  

                       No pain, no gain don’t they say? Bring it on!!

No Pain All Gain

Saw my Orthodontist Dr. Rodney for the first time post surgery on Saturday. He said everything was looking fine and was amazed how much my profile changed! I told him everything was going great, but my nose became little bigger and the flesh around my nose turned up like sinus which only happens at old age and that bother me every now and then but he doesn't felt any kinda problem there. He just removed the digging wire from my mouth and granted one and half month rest before moving on to the braces world, i pleaded for a six month gap. And he complained Dr. Jeomy for my request then he just laughed that off..... 

Back to Real World!!!

7th July(73rd Day)

Saw my surgeon (Dr. Jeomy) today and he removed the wiring which has been put inside my mouth and it hurt very badly…. But not that much pain I happy to say apart from a nasty sharp wire that seems to be digging into the bottom of my left cheek. He wishes me to consult Dr. Rodney to continue with my ortho treatment… He hopes that wire can be removed according to Dr. Rodney’s consent…. 

I went to my friend’s wedding reception on Thursday and was really nervous about seeing people again, and what they would think! Will they give the same response of my aunts and cousins? They've already told me that they failed to trace out changes on my face.... And the response was hugely varied, some people said they couldn’t really tell and others thought i looked hugely different. The whole subject certainly gave me something to talk about.  In terms of how I think I look – yes i think i look better on photos (when i compare the before and after shots) - but in real life I’m not completely decided.  I am guessing that most of the swelling has gone by now – so what i can see is just me….but I’m definitely not used to it yet. I don’t think I’ll really know for sure until the braces come off, which might only be a couple of months now. No pain with the braces now, but i seem to have a new contact point with one of my teeth at the front, which is a bit tender. And gaps appeared in between…..

I’m seeing my Orthodontist on Wednesday - so I wonder what he will think! Will he give the same opinion of Dr. Murukan or what?