No Gain, All Pain

Things aren't really looking so good for my jaws, well, on Friday morning I noticed my lower left lip and chin (still numb) areas are a bit swollen. Pain is there all over so I didn't get shocked to see that. Hmmmmmm I’m used with the swollen days and nights. It kept happening and kept happening and my jaw was starting to get the shooting, awful pains from right after last appointment so I thought I’ll ring Dr. Jeomy but later i decided No. Let that consume me as much as it can. Tomorrow I call Dr. Jeomy if the pain doesn't have any plan to get off. Had one Imole which helped to relieve a bit.

For my great comfort the pain reduces a lot by two days but my lower lip and still swollen and a kinda awkward feeling is there.I can't really open my mouth widely or laugh properly. My stammering bothers me now and then. yeah, anyway i forgot to wear those creamy dreamy elastics, but at this condition i cant even imagine of bearing that too. hmm mm i'm taking a break from those elastics till this Tuesday (30th April) because I've follow up appointment at specialists' hospital and after, i wish to spend some quality time with my best friend and his family so i wanna be free, i want freedom "Freedom to be..... azadi dil ki", lemme back from Kochi. Atleast i need this one week time before movin on to the elastics world!!!!!

Decision to move on

It's my one year anniversary yesterday and I had appointment with Dr. Rodney. I thought I'll discuss about de-banding with Dr. Rodney (my ortho) but as I doubted my request is been rejected. When I went in he wasn't ready to listen me first but when I insisted gave me an explanation for the elastics issue that i discussed in my second last post..  Apparently after surgery your jaw muscles really really want to go back to their old position so they pull on your bones to go back the way things were before. They weren't strong enough to hold everything in place as my jaw muscles were fighting to return to their old position.so the bone could relapse if i quit that here…. I asked him how??? The cut and joined bone, how can they set back???? Scientifically it’s wrong, he replied very patiently see many people have the misconception that bones are the most rigid and strongest part of our body, before getting into the medical field I was also in that belief but its just opposite to what we think, bone is the most flexible part of our body we could size and shape it however we like to have. For example, have you seen the Tibetan’s wearing rings to around neck in order to elongate that and Pakistani’s wearing turbans to make head pointed likewise we are applying pressure to move bone through teeth. Now it’s like we are banding a thing to elongate. The muscles which keep the teeth fixed inside bone will hurt for some time when you band it after it will stop hurting. But when you stop it, it’s like banding and de-banding, the muscles which ties the teeth to the bone get disturb more that’s why its hurts more. Now you have elastics to overlap the upper teeth with the lower teeth, there’s no way other than this elastics.  See, we started from a fragile and weakest condition there nothing to expect without pain and still it like that.  I agree that it hurt, I could understand but I’ll ask you to bear it, I will get you more soft elastics if you can’t bear this. I don’t like you are quitting here.  I explained all problems which I’m having with this braces. He was empathetic but adamant. I knew his character so I stopped arguing. I think it’s pretty cool though how your muscles want to go back to the way they were... What if i didn't have jaw surgery, but rather was punched in the face by some unsavory individual and my face was messed up?  My awesome jaw muscles would be working hard to put everything back together! Anyway. I'm really hoping everything will stabilize soon because i want these braces OFF!  So far no idea when the estimated removal day is going to be.....  And for those just dying to know the condition of the nerves in the left side of my chin and lower lip - no improvements recently.  I have slight feeling but its incredibly annoying.If i touch my chin, I know I'm touching it - but i get a very tingly sensation.  If water is dripping down my chin i definitely don't feel it at all.  If my sheets rub against my face while I’m in bed i feel like sand paper is scraping across my face.  It’s quite horrible.  Occasionally, I get random tingles in my chin, and sometimes some pain shoots through - luckily this is rare though.  I sometimes get pain along my jaw line... but according to my surgeon all of this is depends on persons after surgery as the nerves are healing and reconnecting.  Fun stuff. There is no point in arguing with him. He is soo dedicated to his work and which put me on a great surprise. But he misunderstood me like I don’t have enough patience to listen him. He said you don’t care about this bone stuff eh?? You all worrying about your pain aren’t you?? I tried to explain no!!! But he didn’t listen. Honestly speaking I love listening to these lectures about my treatment. How will I make him understand I don’t know!! Then he wired my upper and lower teeth carefully and assured me that he’ll bring soft elastics next time when we meet. He pleaded once again to keep wearing elastics.

My 1st Jaw-Niversary

April 25 marked my 12 month jaw-niversary, one full year after my face was sawed open and screwed and wired together. Wow. It's hard to believe so much time has already gone by. It feels like it was just yesterday.... but that's how time always is. I remember the paths of my surgery, the hardships, the sufferings, the insults (Dr. Shivapriyan and Dr. Sreejith’s), the consolation and the happiness. Ananthapuri hospital’s dirty and ugly general ward, my room 644, long corridor to the operation theater, Dr. Mahadevan, Dr. Shaji Azad, Dr. Sreevidya, Dr. Divya (all anesthesiologists),Dr Rekha Manoj, their staffs and their love. Let me take a word for them, thank you doctors, I love you all….  I didn’t mention my surgeons and other doctors is not cuz I forget you, its just cuz you all are still there in my life. Then the pre op ward, the lovely nurse who fed me mango juice and tied my hair…. I miss all, all things happened on that BIG day…. I wish to be there once again, roam around the paths which I covered once.  my left lower lip and left chin are still numb and I wanna keep that like that forever cuz that the only thing which reminds me about my past days,  my,

Heart full of pain,

Head full of stress

Hand full of anger, held in my chest

Uphill struggle

Blood, sweat and tears

Nothing to gain

Everything to fear

Now... onto the fun part - my anniversary! Here's my long-winded update.

Numbness:  My left lower lip and chin are still quite numb. I find that there are weeks (like right now) that it drives me NUTS - it itches, it tickles, it twitches, it feels like I have two inches of dried wax sitting on it.... The numbness does not bother me at all, at least when my chin isn't throwing a fit. The numbness covers my chin to some degree, and it extends into the sides of my upper lip and my nose( which cuz of rhinoplasty). Nose and upper lip are not completely numb, but I don't have 100% feeling back anywhere there. Again, it doesn't bother me - some people I've read have been annoyed to no end about this, but unless I'm poking around with my fingernail or running my fingers lightly over my face I can't even tell.

Jaw pain:  lower numb lip and the cut and joined section inside still hurts and the some strong shaking effect is also there (the reason of that still not known). I still am unable to chew without some pain,

Swelling:  I still have swollen days - especially after each and every dental appointments.

Some frequently asked questions.....

Was your mouth wired shut?   - Nope. I just wore really light elastics. i could take them off to brush my teeth or open my mouth a little bit.

How long before you can go back to work/school? - Depends.  I only spend 3 days mainly in bed and that was at hospital. At home I never tried to sleep except at night.  I don’t think this surgery needs a lot of rest.

How long before you get feeling back in your chin/lips?  This is really tough to answer and i think it definitely depends on how good your surgeon is and how extensive your surgery is.  I had absolutely no feeling in pretty much my entire face after surgery....then it gradually started coming back after a week or 2.   I got feeling back in the right side of my chin/lips but the left side was still numb.... and honestly its its still mostly numb.  I usually know when something is touching my chin...but it doesn't feel the way it normally feels when something touches your skin. If i brush my finger against the left side of my lower lip/chin - it feels all tingly and weird. If i'm brushing my teeth and some water or toothpaste drips onto my chin, i can't feel it at all.  I'm not really a fan. They say whatever it feels like at the 1 year point will probably how it'll feel for the rest of your life.... so I just deal with it.

Does the surgery drastically alter your appearance?  Depends on the surgery... I definitely look different, but i wouldn't say drastically. My smile is definitely different - but I'd say for the better. [no one coulda believed it was possible!!! :P]