Third Appointment Post Surgery (29th day)

The swelling has come down loads and almost full of my nerve sensation of upper lip, cheeks and nose retained but I had to fight with pimples, which has been spread all over my face and neck. Actually it is like prickly heat not pimples….. Itching and spreading from one part to another…… My surgeon advised me to visit one Dermatologist….


He checked my new X-ray and OPG, and explained the way did surgery…there was two wiring and two steel plates in the top set of teeth and two wiring in the bottom set of teeth.  He added that Dr. Jeomy will remove all wiring's and the steel plate doesn't need to kick out…. Once again he tightened those bolts and asked me to review after one month.

I’ve taken an appointment with Dr. Rajesh nair, Dermatologist on Tuesday (29th may) … He told me this is not actual pimples but it’s  a side effect of steroids which have been applied on my body after surgery…. He prescribed one gel (DERIVA BPO) and one face wash(ACNE GEL)…… My face scares me when I have a look on mirror… God let this pimples go down sooo fast!!!!!

My pimply face when that turn up first time

3 weeks post operation.

I am getting more and more nerve sensation every day though. My cheeks are now definitely a lot less swollen, but it’s hard to see the improvement yourself, day to day. The pictures I’ve taken give some signs of it and i think the stitches are starting to dissolve in my mouth; I’ve got some parts out of my mouth after brushing and in between tongue and teeth. My bottom lip just won’t do what i want it to. I can’t stretch it out and make it go tight at all… Aside from that I’ve generally got more movement in my mouth and lips. Although from some of the pictures, my mouth looks a bit weird! I’m a bit worried about all the numbness in my chin….I think its gradually getting less, but its still a million miles away from normal. I wonder how long it will take?

Second Appointment Post Surgery (15th day after)

Saw my surgeon today; He repeated the same words of the other surgeon…. Swellings will be there for some weeks and I only having swelling more or less which a 15th day post patient suppose to have… he asked me to take two x-rays (x-ray and OPG) when I visit him next time and tightened the screws in side my mouth.

Post 10th day after operation....

I wish the swelling would go down now! I’m on day what now, 10 and i still don’t really know how things have turned out which is frustrating. When I saw myself on mirror I felt very much sad my lips is having a close resemblance with krimi tomy’s(Rimi Tomy) and my nose exactly like chenni’s(Ramesh chennithala)….

I had a bad night last night. Woke up at 3am. The joints on both jaws felt frozen stiff and I had a huge headache… Not only last night had I started having disturbed sleep with full of short dreams…  Dreams like the stories of short story book… participants which I’ve not met or knew and story which I never ever imagined or heard... i wakeup after the end or middle of each story panting and panicked….. Feeling bored of these stuffs I stopped sleeping so fast, watched a lot of horror and action movies which my cousin and friend Sonu had given me….. Saw twilight saga again and again…. Wish to be one of them….. A vampire, without aging, without sleeping... how sweet hehe…. :):)

I tried to get out of one nasty pimple which turned up just below my nose and which caused the swelling boost up to my nose which was free from swelling before…..  This frightened me a little…. Ringed Dr. Jeomy, he said swellings will be there more or less, up to one month nothing to worry about that….:) I relieved a bit…. But really tired of this pumpkin face…. God!!!! Please help .... Please help me to finish one month sooo fast!!!!!

"Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real"

The First Post surgery Appointment (7th Day after)

My first appointment after surgery, and it went pretty well…. Saw my surgeon which was nice. He said he was very pleased with the result and said that my mouth is having enough hygiene and keep like this always…. He remembered me to use baby brush only and keep rinsing mouth each time after I’m having food…… He advised to use cold water for shower and tightened the screws which he put inside my mouth. I asked if there was any possibility in the future if the screws/plate would come loose. He assured me they wouldn't and I have nothing to worry about. He's only had to do one or two corrective surgery before in his above 300 surgeries career. The screws he uses now are pretty small and there is no way I'd be able to feel them. 

He asked me to smile and when I smiled he said now it is like I’m smiling under a curtain and I’ll be able to smile well after all swellings disappears (Well Dr. Rodney remembered me that I’ll be able smile only after the braces off). He suggested me to have all homely food apart from hardest ones…. Asked me to start chewing slowly and keep soft food diet…. He consoled me that my vomiting tendency and nose issues will gradually go off with swelling……

I called Dr. Jimmy, to thank him and to describe him about my operation….

I think it’s time to check out some other blogs to find out how other people are getting on…..

4th Day Post Surgery…..

Well I’m now back home…The sensation of my jaw healing is a bit odd and quite grim as the swelling moves around. As soon as my next dosage is due i can feel my face physically freezing up but this is much better on day 4 than it has been.

Things those were better than expected:

          1. The anesthetic. Really wasn't so scary. I didn’t feel sick and i couldn’t feel them pulling the tubes in or out it didn’t hurt.
          2. I didn’t felt any kinda throat pain or nose and I able to breath through nose.
          3. Looking in the mirror after you’ve had the surgery and thinking – o what have i done…!
          4. Catheter also doesn't hurt me or scared me.
          5. The pain generally. Is not like any sort of pain I’ve really felt before and although its bad, its not severe and is more of a dull sensation than anything else…
          6. It doesn't affect my speech.
          7. Getting home from hospital and being able to watch DVDs, TV and listen to the music at any time of day or night…!

Things those were worse than expected:

         1. How weird your new mouth feels. My tongue didn’t fit properly, I kept wanting to bite it at the front and at the side.  Having a swollen tongue and inside of your mouth is particularly unpleasant….
         2. Brushing when you cannot spit is more of a challenge than you might realize. You have to act like you have just now received a big impact on your face while gurgling.
3. Not being able to feel your mouth, dribbling down your chins constantly and wondering whether the sensation will ever come back!
         4. Not able to feel the satisfaction when you try to scratch your itching lips and cheeks.
         5. Running nose and the vomiting tendency which turns up with every kinda minute smells. (tissue, towel, soap, perfumes, plates, mug….. etc)

I’ve not felt any kinda pain and that put me on a great surprise…. I’ve been waiting long to receive great pain and pain killers as a nightmare…. Only I felt irritation with these swellings, dull sensation and the cold feeling which that delivers I’m happy to say, apart from a nasty sharp wire that seems to be digging into the bottom of my left chin. Well i know it is! And my chin is sore and bruised. And each morning when i wake up all the fixtures feel like they are welded into the side of my mouth. Its a very strange sensation. I’ve invested one mouth wash tooo which kept me away from infecting plaque and deposits as I’m not able to brush properly. But its taste seems so sharp and I afraid it will cause ulcers on all across the inside of my mouth and tongue….  

1st Day Post Surgery

It was a fantastic dawn I’d like to say…. That angel (nurse) helped me to wash my face, wipe off the tears and pus from eyes, rinse my mouth with cold water (I shocked to see, black colored water coming out from my mouth), combed my hair parted that as two and plaited that then tied with bandage, changed my bedding, She was having a nice smile whenever she looks at me…. I loved her smile and her dedication… wish to see her again but I don’t know her name then how??????

I have been shifted to room 644 soon after my surgeon’s (Dr. Oommen) visit…. He visited me there at post operation ward…. I was boring there, desperate,counting minutes and thinking when I shall shift to ward…..  My surgeon’s face consoled me a lot…. A familiar and friendly face in an unfriendly world!!!!  He said Sherin, now you will be shifted to room….. Now you are fine… nothing to worry!!! Catheter will be removed tomorrow.... Now we could stop this drip also.. I wondered will i able to take food with this broken mouth??? i asked the same with him... He smiled and that smile was really encouraging then said, Liquids first, then you could move on to soft solid foods.. And a lot of pleasant words… he explained about his beginning of career as a doctor, his patients, salary and the place where he started his career…. It was really interesting and i wish to hear him more but they shifted me without giving time to listen that fully…..:(


I was wheeled to my room. My mom and sister were in the room and as soon as the nurse got me settled in I hugged my mom and sister so tightly. I wasn't in that much pain or anything, I just think there were so many emotions going through me all at once.

Room no 644, heaven as compared with general ward…mmmm my next 2 days paradise I thought. I asked mom for a mirror to see my pumpkin face!!!! Yeah, it was far far better than what I expected but my eyebrows…. Half of the left eye brow is missing!!! Then I found some sticky plaster gum on forehead and right eyebrow…. Oh they have removed my eyebrow along with that plaster!!!!! Soooo saaadddddd!!!! Hmmmmmm

Afternoon Dr. Suvy Manuel came for a checkup!!! He introduced himself to us…. Oh my Mahesh Babu!!! but he’s not looking like that now!!!! What’s the difference??? I wondered hmmm… oh yeah gotchaaa……he is having mustache now and without that only he got that look!!!! In the mean time he have given a lot of advises like take one glass water in every one hour… you should consume cold water only… use baby brush for brushing…. Wash your mouth each and every time after food….. Rinse off with cold water….. Don’t apply any kinda pressure on teeth… catheter should be removed and that nurse will do that tomorrow morning…. Etc etc etc…. but I wish to tell him please remove that mustache, without that you look like Mahesh Babu…. He is soooo handsome you know…..!!!!!!!

The BIG Day….. The BIG Surgery.....

My operation wasn’t scary but it was a nice and an interesting experience….. I got up early morning around 5 AM after a disturbed sleep and took shower ( another one bathroom which Sheba has shown me last evening, which was better than the other )…. Around 8 Am duty nurse came with IV and they digged that inside my right hand and closed with a cap…. They made a channel for drip!!!!!! Then around 8 30 they again appeared with my uniform and a wheel chair to take me for the surgery….. I wasn’t sad, felt happy and was curious to know what gonna happen next…. Just waved bye to my mom and sister and said bye to that general ward!!!!

Inside the pre operation room they made me lay down on a stretcher attached a BP checking thing on my left arm and i was then wheeled onto the operation theater…I closed my eyes for a while then prayed 

And now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the LORD my soul to keep

And if I die before I wake

I pray the LORD my soul to take....

Inside the operation theater, there I found some familiar faces apart from those whom which I expected to be there, anesthesiologists, Dr Shaji Azad, Dr. Sreevidya….. I’ve seen one nurse applying gel on two tubes… after a while that suppose to be inside my nose oochhhh!!!! Then Dr. Azad and one lovely unfamiliar doctor (later I found his name, Dr. Mahadevan) talked with me… I asked about the various machines on that room and Dr. Mahadevan clarified me that all… then I asked for my surgeons, they didn't turned up yet. Dr mahadevan said, don’t worry……they are on the way. Dr Mahadevan asked me about my college stuffs as if he is sooo interest to know that…. I knew they are changing my attention from the nurse who started digging my leg to make path for another IV on my left leg…. I just started replying him and suddenly dragged on to sleep!!! conscious to unconscious state without seeing my surgeons…. I thought I’ll be giving anesthesia after their arrival only……….

I’ve seen my uncle Titus chatting with someone not so far away from me…. I called him uncle and raised my hand to wave him HI….. He started walking away without listening to my HI!!! I've gone behind him calling out loud uncle it's me Vaava uncle listen!!! Then he started moving fast, I tried my best to move fast but I couldn't… I was struggling to move fast then someone called me Sherin I woke up from sleep, a female voice informed me surgery is been over…….I was on one moving stretcher and that ends ups in a large room carrying lot of beds and stopped in one corner of that…. I saw my Surgeon standing near my bed asking how you are, Sherin…. I replied fine in a choked voice…. How are you feeling now I said I’m feeling icy cold…. He commanded one nurse to cover me with blanket… I saw My mom there to see me… asked how are you, again I uttered fine…. I moved my left hand from bed to touch her.... She hold that for a couple of seconds then said now I’m going I’m not allowed to be here for long and turned back…. Then sister… she also repeated the same words how are you??? By panting a kiss on my hand and marking a cross on my head with fingers she moved away….. Then I dragged again on sleep I heard another voice calling me Vaava and I opened my eyes it was my uncle Mohan standing near my bed….. I tried to touch him by moving my left hand… he hold my hand, covered with his other hand and that was warm and I held him tight, I felt my dad is there…. He asked me how you feeling now??? I replied icy cold… he asked about this with one nurse, she replied its common after anesthesia so no problem… He repeated those words with me and asked my permission to leave I shook my head….. Then Dr. Oommen again appeared and he asked me about my regular eye medicine… I replied having one eye drops and an eye ointment, he again commanded to those nurses to get that from my mother…. I wish to tell him no…. It doesn't require today… I could spend one day without that….. But my lips didn't move… I was trying to talk but no..... why????? After a while Dr. Jeomy came, said HI Sherin…… I wish to ask him a number of things.... about my anesthesia, about my surgery but lips cheated me again…. In that grief I opened my eyes wide open …… struggled to talk but no It was a failed attempt…. He smiled and turned away I wish to call him back but all went in vain… why I’m like this??? I felt sad…. Then I consoled myself that impulses might not be working…..

Night was horrible.... was on sound sleep till midnight… then one child has been admitted there near my bed…. His parents were also there and that kid was screaming like hell… I got irritated and lost the hope to sleep again…. Then one angel (nurse) shifted that kids bed to another corner so that his voice would not reach my bed and a guy replaced that area…. I felt happy and comfort…. Tried to sleep… checked my teeth which haven’t been covered with brace and found that missed.. ohh they removed that area… yippee!!!! I found the place where they did the cut an extraction hehe…… I’ve heard that guy murmuring and mumbling and talking continuously in a lowest voice… I wondered cell phones are allowed here or what???? Then I discovered that guy is making contradictory statements…. I felt sad…… wish to know why he is admitted here….. Then that angel came near me and helped me to drink juice (mango slice) and cold water….. I asked for hot but they denied….. Arranged another drip and went…… I lay down there thinking the possibilities of my bone’s joining and protection… Linkin Park's 'Nobody is listening' song popped out on my mind, Did those lines dedicate to my present condition or what??? But i have reply.... in that song itself hmmmm..... Keerti's face turned up on my mind.... Today will be her 4th day post surgery....  She might be recovering from swellings and the pain which was haunting her like hell.... Then my mind fully occupied with that general ward.....How they are doing???? where’ll be my mother and sister now???? At general ward??? If so how’ll they survive……..

Less than 12 hours to go……

Today morning, had another appointment with Dr. Rodney at dental practice to check whether all fittings are fine inside my mouth or what….. He found all broken inside and asked whether I’ve chewed something or what…. According to Dr. Murukan’s advice I brought the hardest chappathi and paratha and chewed vigorously… He  and Dr Jeomy started laughing and told me that all just to make my bite properly and now I’ve damaged all the fittings so don’t repeat that again….:)

I’m now here admitted…. The great Ananthapuri Hospitals and Research Centre… I check in here around 11 AM and got admission after passing a regular fitness check by the anesthetist, Dr .Sreevidya… She is from thrissur i guess, having a nice thrissur slang and i asked her about my chest xray's parts, she described that all to me... I liked her way of talking she is sooo generous.... And she confirmed no issue…..But I got admission on that hectic general ward only…. General ward is the most pathetic ward of whole universe I guess….. White cloths (we cannot mention that cloth as white cuz color changed long before) hanging everywhere and which gives the memory of haunted house in some English movies(Movie, The Others i'm sure)…..  The toilet and bathroom scares me a lot it’s like earth just back from the big-band explosion…. I was able to identify those evolutionary particles too apart from God- particle… hehe just joking:):)…. The mug, bucket which they've provided remembered me my school days…  My Parassala Government girl’s high school…. it all broken and the stinky smell made an uncontrollable urge to vomit….. I looked above in search of God and cried hard….. At that moment, for the first time in this treatment period I felt giving up all here and run away through the streets of Chaka (where this hospital situated) as an unidentifiable alien……. But my God helped me, I able to take a half bath, put up with those suffocation's, tears rolled on my cheeks then I told myself…. I’m the responsible for this….. I only behind ‘em like anything to do this…. So bear it!!!!!!…….

Now its 8’o(PM) clock… only 12 more hours left for my BIG operation…. I’m here thinking ways to sleep, pass time and fresh up my mind……

The things which I’m most afraid of:

1. Having dreams during the anesthetic

2. Waking up and talking a load of weird things and revealing my secrets

3. How much pain i’m going to be in when i wake up (and for the next two weeks/months after that!)

4. Waking up/becoming conscious during the anesthetic. (According to the book i just read this is an uncommon/rare side effect, and happens to less than 1 in 1000 people. Now I’m no statistician, but those odds sound way too risky to be starring in your own private horror film if you ask me)

5. My bones refusal for joining

6. The hospital cancelling the operation

7. Not being able to have a drink of water for like hours and hours and hours….

8. Waking up and not being able to breathe

9. Looking in the mirror after the operation

10. Being hungry all the time

11. Tube feeding

12. Going permanently on coma.

13. Swelling’s denial to go back

14. Forgetting everything and everybody

15. My face remains like this.

The things which I’m looking forward to:

1. Getting these braces off

2. Having a nice bite with all my teeth the right way round

3. Getting a new face (just hope and I’ll have that and if I have that i like it!)

4. Lying around doing nothing, reading, watching movies and surfing internet

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep today…. In this much hot and unhealthy atmosphere… just found a friend here…. Staff nurse Miss. Sheba Sarah Varghese, chatted with her for a while, complained her about this damn general ward where I’m now sitting in, and enquired about tomorrow’s procedures….. In the mean time my surgeon Dr. Jeomy visited me and said, adjust here for today, after operation anyhow you’ll be shifted to room……  Sheba has given me some pills to swallow, I think sleeping pills yet not feeling sleepy but she is over my head!!!!!!

Right going to bed to catch up with some beauty sleep…..!!!!!

Bystander Bed

Patient's Bed

                                     

Ananthapuri General Ward